Yes, we have no bananas...

I don't know what I did to deserve it, but I am cursed. It's the Banana curse. Never heard of it? Don't worry, I think it might be unique to me.

I don't indulge in milkshakes or the like very often, but when I do I always want the same thing: chocolate with bananas. It never seems to fail, however, that I get the short end of the banana stick. As in, they completely forget the bananas. And I, ever hopeful, keep believing that this time it will be different. And every time I am disappointed I think, "This is the last straw. I have lost my faith in milkshake-slinging enterprises." Yeah, I know. You would think I would check to make sure before I leave these cursed establishments that they did indeed put those bananas in. But I always forget and assume that surely, this time they will have remembered. It can't possibly be my lot in life to never get what I ask for. So I go on my merry way, only to reach home and clench my fists and curse the heavens when I discover NO BANANAS.

This evening's debacle is no different. It looked ok , like maybe there were some banana chunks in there. Although it did look more like a vanilla shake with some chocolate syrup on top. (PS... If I'd wanted a vanilla shake with chocolate syrup, I would have asked for it. What is your shake mixing thingamajig for, if not mixing shakes so I don't have to do it myself?) Still, I happily mixed and stirred it to a lovely chocolaty consistency, looking forward to the first banana-infused bite, but to no avail.

Now I am depressed and can't even bring myself to eat it. Plain chocolate is just so... vanilla.

Note to self...

If you're planning on mucking about the hardware store, don't wear white.

Earth-Friendly Thuggery

'Sup? Lately I've been thinking - the countless evenings spent cruisin' the hood and looking for rivals to smoke and punk-suckas to jack up are taking a toll on the environment, and my wallet! '64 Impalas aren't known for their great gas-mileage, and at $3.50 a gallon for unleaded? SHEESH!! I brought this up in last week's meeting. As a result, my fellow Psycho 7s and I decided that we, as THE R.P. Alpha-gang and integral members of the community, need to set a good example for our neighbors by reducing our carbon footprint.

We tried taking mass-transit for few days, but the "No weapons, no loud music, no cussing" rules were really cramping our style. Besides, trying to coordinate our daily exploits around the bus schedule is not easy! Missing a knife fight because the bus was late is no way to maintain street cred, and when you can see the bus from a mile away it kinda negates the element of surprise. So we scrapped the bus idea.

Finally, we determined that we could kill two birds with one stone by rollin' thru the hood on bikes! We can now help save the earth and still look tough doing it! Best of all, Lupe, our gang treasurer, reports that our "new gold chain and NBA jersey" budget is back in the black! Here's me straddling my new ride. Any ideas on how I can mount Andrei, my AK-47? Now we'll strike fear into the hearts of punk-suckas everywhere when they see the posse rollin' down the street in V-formation...

WORD! RP HOLMES! BETTA RECOGNIZE!

Y'all better check yourselves!!

'Sup? Now that we are living in Rose Park, I'd thought it would be a good idea to try and blend in. I've since joined the Psycho 7 Crips, but i think my crew is starting to figure out that I'm not Crip material. I don't know why, it could be due to my skinny 5' 7" frame, or maybe because I'm may be a little too violent, is that possible for a gang banger? Nonetheless, I've since received several new tats, learned some nifty gang signs, and received a cool new nickname, T-Loco. I'm having a great time, participated in my first drive-by, and the UPS guy just delivered my new AK-47 (see above). It's amazing what you can get from Craig's List.

We now control everything from 600 North to 1000 North and from Redwood to 1200 West.

I'm considering creating my own gang. JRPP, or Jewish Rose Park Posse. Instead of bandannas we will wear yarmulkes, and rather than "jumping" someone in, I'll make them eat Kosher for a month! Word! RP Holmes!

Stay tuned for more tales from the 'hood.

en plein air

Now that the weather is warming up, we've been doing a lot of work outside and dreaming up plans for our patio, yard, and garden. Here are some things on our wish list:


A nice two-person hammock:


A BBQ grill:

A porch swing (don't these look comfy ?):




Some chairs to match the patio table we just bought:

For Carolyn

I saw this on one of my favorite sites today, Apartment Therapy. I can totally see Carolyn doing this. She has a knack for refinishing and repurposing, and generally making things beautiful and fun. I miss you dear!

Bring Trader Joe's to SLC

Go here to request a a Trader Joe's in Salt Lake